Have you ever had a week where you feel like your flaws consume you? I’ve been so down on myself this week and while I think it’s hormone related, I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I feel unmotivated and avoid everything from taking the dogs out to complex things fixing my daughter’s bed so she can actually sleep in it. I’m being hard on myself for the condition of my house right now, instead of getting up and cleaning it. I have only been to the gym once this week and my skin feels awful. I haven’t wanted to shave, put makeup on, and avoid mirrors. I feel physically and emotionally blah!
My schedule is out of whack. For the last two weeks I’ve been trying to get my mom and kids to come with me in the evening and somehow convinced myself I didn’t have to go in the morning. Also, since all of my laundry was dirty, I had further reason to skip the gym. I even told myself, wash them today and go to the gym tonight, and then didn’t even take the time to swap the wet stuff. In fact, I had to wash it twice before swapping it to the dryer days later. It will probably stink when I do wear it to the gym… If I ever go back.
I feel like I clean constantly and my house always looks like shit. I can’t count how many times I’ve cleaned up dog pee and poop this week. I think there’s still some under the coffee table because every once in awhile I smell it. Of course, it could be on the pile of laundry that still hasn’t gotten done. Eight loads this week, and after camping there are at least eight more to go. I clean my kid’s room constantly. So much so, I don’t even clean my own room, but I did this week. On Monday, the kids had off school so I made them clean their rooms while I cleaned mine. I got about halfway through my room due to all the interruptions. The result in the kid’s rooms, a broken bed and a pile of garbage, clothes, and toys I pulled out from underneath. The eight loads of laundry I did were mostly theirs, but they haven’t bothered to put them away. Probably doesn’t help that the broken bed is now propped against their closet door. How does their room get so messy, so fast? I seem to be donating or throwing away shit every couple weeks.
Homework has been an afterthought this week and I’m not sure why. My older two are getting better at doing it themselves, but my youngest probably hasn’t read for a month – so much for my English teacher roots. Kaitlyn is developing the typical teenage “I hate everything” attitude. At night I hope it’s nothing more and pray that my kids are happy. Madie and Brent got into it last night and I always seem to be in the middle. They’re best buds most of the time, but by 8pm I have 4 very tired and cranky individuals in my house. All a mama wants is peace at that hour. They all fall asleep around 9:00 I’m alone again with my guilt.
I try to give myself the freedom to not feel guilt about EVERYTHING.
- The house is always a mess – You have 3 kids and 3 animals, of course it is!
- You can never seem to complete a job – Nobody with all these responsibilities could.
- You didn’t eat well this week – So what? Eat better next week.
- You didn’t go to the gym enough – Double up next week.
- You look like hell – Shave and go put make-up on.
But my surroundings are still the same. I have piles of laundry waiting to be folded while another week’s worth lies in the bathroom floor. My kids still have a broken bed and my dogs still haven’t been walked. I have a garage sale tomorrow and the last thing I want to do, is enter that garage and prepare for that!
But I will…
I always do.
Now, it’s your turn. Comment below and tell me about your struggles. What you do to get yourself out of a funk? Why are some weeks worse than others?